Things you’d really like to say at work:
1. I can see your point, but you’re still full of crap.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
5. Ahh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
8. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
9. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
10. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
11. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
12. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
13. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
14. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
15. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.